Los Angeles Matchmakers | How to Handle a Coworker That Flirts Too Much

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Okay, so you landed a new job, and you’re excited, right? You enjoy the thought of a brand new start and looking forward to meeting new people in the process. You start meeting coworkers and seem to be getting the attention of everyone in the office. You get introductory emails and many handshakes as the day goes by.

However, there is this one special person who is giving you a lot more attention, unwanted attention. And then it happens—things begin to feel weird. You are now on the receiving end of a flirtatious coworker. Our Los Angeles matchmakers know this is a very sticky situation and want to help you out.

Flirting is common, and essential, in the dating world, and it could appear in the form of a harmless compliment or something more straightforward like a remark. All of us have flirted with someone we find attractive; however, flirting in the office is risky business. While we can get away with a few remarks here or there, too much flirting in the workplace can land us in trouble.

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How to Handle Your Overly Flirtatious Coworker

To be fair, maybe the person doesn’t know what they’re doing and is just trying to get your attention. If that’s the case, then it is your duty to draw the line and recognize what you will and will not accept.

At the same time, there is always that one notorious Casanova or overly flirty woman in the office, so before you walk into the HR office, find out the facts. It could just be their personality, and you don’t want to get someone fired for something that could have been talked about and resolved on your own.

1. Handle the Flirting with Professionalism

One of the most effective ways to handle a flirty coworker is to handle it with professionalism. If you approach them in a serious stance, where you show no fear, they will respect you.

Make it known, that while you’re at work, you will not tolerate this type of behavior. However, don’t go overboard and lose a friend. Make it known that you’re okay with non-work related talk, as long as it’s done outside of the office.

2. Use Humor to Solve It

Another way to handle an office flirt is to counter back with humor. Office flirts are usually not alone and they do have buddies they share their flirting escapades with. Use those people to embarrass them a little. If you hurt their ego, they won’t want to flirt with you anymore, believe us on that. They feed off the energy you put out, so if you laugh at their remarks or just plain out ignore them, they will retreat and never do it again.

3. Be Honest with Them

This one is straightforward—you are just rejecting them. Once you know the person is flirting with you, take some time to talk to them and let them know you don’t feel comfortable with their flirting. You could tell them that you’re already in a relationship or that you don’t want to be bothered during work hours. You can also mention that it’s illegal and you will not tolerate it. If they continue, then you have to take things up to the HR department.

4. Confront Them Head On

If you allow a few flirty remarks to go unnoticed, they’ll continue to do it because they’ll think it’s okay. The best thing to do is to stop them right then and there, cold turkey. Ask them, “What are you trying to accomplish here?” Or try something more straightforward like, “Are you hitting on me?”

This is sure to catch them off guard because that’s not what they expected you to say. Usually a person will come up with an innocent response to you, and when they do, explain that their flirting with you is becoming uncomfortable and you will no longer tolerate it.

5. Ignore Them

Sometimes, the best way to handle a flirty coworker is to simply ignore them. Now, this is not to say you must act like they don’t exist, because of course you have to associate with them since you work together. However, when they do pass flirty remarks during work hours, you can simply ignore them. Don’t laugh at their jokes, don’t answer their flirty questions, just ignore them. Try to keep conversation to a minimum so they don’t think you’re leading them on.

6. Go Around with Coworkers

Another trick to get out of the way of a flirty coworker is to go in a group. For example, if you normally eat lunch by yourself, go with your friends so this flirty person don’t get the chance to catch you alone and flirt with you. Most people are afraid to approach a group, so this flirty guy or gal is not likely to approach you when you’re in a group of friends. If this person is bold enough to approach you in a group, then they risk the embarrassment on themselves.

7. Emphasize That You’re Already Taken

During small talk, casually bring up that you’re already in a serious relationship. Tell them that your partner is very jealous and you don’t feel comfortable with their flirting. The idea here is to let them know you’re already in a relationship so they stop their flirty remarks. Plant this seed and hopefully they get it and stop making advances on you.

8. Talk to Their Superiors

If all else fails, there is nothing else you can do but talk to the manager or supervisor. This is the last resort because it’s going to turn into a mild sexual harassment lawsuit and they’re likely going to lose their job. Be sure to make a report of all the instances when this person has stepped over the line with you and take notes of all the words they use. You can use the help of other coworkers who witness it and use any email or text messages you have, as well. You don’t have to put up with an overly flirtatious coworker or spend your entire day dodging them. Human Resources is well-equipped to handle people and situations like this.

Do you have any other tips for our readers to handle an overly flirtatious coworker? We would love to hear from you on our Facebook page.

Are you struggling to meet the right partners on your own? Contact our Los Angeles matchmakers and let us introduce you to quality singles in LA.


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